Random Thoughts

You look into people eyes and there is a stroy in them. I have always thought that when you look at a person eyes you could tell what there life was like. I am sure that somewhere in my thoughts , I just was looking for a escape a place to dream of all these differnt lifes people have. I have for as long as I can remeber always look at people from head to toe. I would key in to certain things about them and then tried to guess what there life was like. To this day my Husband gets mad at me for staring at people but I can't help it. I love to watch how people act with others, how they move, what they wear.It is werid how I key into the smallest things, I remeber every face, and sound, and things around me. I might not know the name of the song that was playing but I know the sound,I know the color they wore, how there hair was. I used to do this alot when I was younger. I would always dream how they lived and the great life they had. When I looked at a person eyes it was like I could see there soul. I could see there sadness,or happiness, I could see them, who they were. I would wonder how differnt or how the same I was to these people. How they went about day to day life and how I did. I was always a day dreamer, dreaming about another life , being someone else, being someone known by all. I remeber that for a long time my thoughts were my only friend and my dreams were what gave me comfort. Now that I am older I dream less, but I feel empty. I feel that somewhere down the road I have lived I lost myself. I lost the person I was , the one thing that made me feel safe. My ability to dream....... Now that I have been down with lots of time on my hands the dreams come back to me but not has before. I find it harder to feel emotion. I feel that all the emotion was cut from me, I don't feel anything now of days..... I have to watch a sad movie to cry but then it feels better to do so. I want to find myself and what makes me who I am.... Where do I start to find myself again? How do I start to do this? Does anyone have the answers to these questions?

Only the Best

A heart of gold stopped beating

Two shining eyes at rest

God broke our hearts to prove,

He only takes the Best

God knows you had to leave us,

But you didn't go alone.

For a part of us went with you

The day he took you home,

But to us who loved you and lost you

Your memory will always last.........


" I will always love you and miss you!"
The day you left , I lost a part of my soul.
You were the glue that held me together,
Without you here just makes life harder.
I will always remeber the women you were,
The best Grandmother any girl could have.
I will see you again in your other life........
I love you, Grandma
More then I could ever let you know!!!!!!

Hello Reader's,

I thought that I would tell you a little about me since you are going to be reading about my thoughts.

I wanted a place to be me, find me, and enjoy me..... Does that make sense to you? I think what I want to do is find my way back to who I am! I am not sure why I feel this need to discover out what makes me happy, what makes me who I am. I used to write all the time years ago, I get on here and I have writer block. I don't know what makes me feel anymore. That has been an ongoing battle in my mind, I feel that I lost the person I was and became someone I don't even know. I was always so happy and funny when I was younger, now it is all business. I miss my happiness, don't get me wrong I love my kids and husband but I lost ME!!!! So I hope through here I find myself again. Like I said I want a place to be me, find me, and enjoy me. So while I try to find me, I hope you enjoy............

Who are they........

Small feet

Small hands

Small fingers and toes

They come into our life a little as can be

There tiny lives depend on me

There eyes look for me

There Cries are for me

There laugh is because of me

There hugs melt me

There kisses make me smile

They are my childern

That is who they are ........

Time to Talk.....

How do you start a conversation with the person you see everyday? What is there more to say then you already say, or do we even say enough? How is it that you wake up to the same person and go to sleep with same person everyday but still feel so alone? Do you think anyone has the answers to these questions. I am not sure why it happens this way but is it because you grow apart or is it becuase you are always together that you find it hard to really talk. Sometimes I think that a couple has to have a time to talk. Where they can just reconnect with each other and make sure that they are not alone. We might feel alone but really we are not alone. They are there when you wake up and they are there when you lay your head down. So take the time to talk about anything that might come to your mind so that you do not loose sight of who you are and why you fell for your other half. I know that to me it is important for us to find time to talk to each other. So don't stop talking to him or her, remeber to always say I LOVE YOU...........