Random Thoughts

You look into people eyes and there is a stroy in them. I have always thought that when you look at a person eyes you could tell what there life was like. I am sure that somewhere in my thoughts , I just was looking for a escape a place to dream of all these differnt lifes people have. I have for as long as I can remeber always look at people from head to toe. I would key in to certain things about them and then tried to guess what there life was like. To this day my Husband gets mad at me for staring at people but I can't help it. I love to watch how people act with others, how they move, what they wear.It is werid how I key into the smallest things, I remeber every face, and sound, and things around me. I might not know the name of the song that was playing but I know the sound,I know the color they wore, how there hair was. I used to do this alot when I was younger. I would always dream how they lived and the great life they had. When I looked at a person eyes it was like I could see there soul. I could see there sadness,or happiness, I could see them, who they were. I would wonder how differnt or how the same I was to these people. How they went about day to day life and how I did. I was always a day dreamer, dreaming about another life , being someone else, being someone known by all. I remeber that for a long time my thoughts were my only friend and my dreams were what gave me comfort. Now that I am older I dream less, but I feel empty. I feel that somewhere down the road I have lived I lost myself. I lost the person I was , the one thing that made me feel safe. My ability to dream....... Now that I have been down with lots of time on my hands the dreams come back to me but not has before. I find it harder to feel emotion. I feel that all the emotion was cut from me, I don't feel anything now of days..... I have to watch a sad movie to cry but then it feels better to do so. I want to find myself and what makes me who I am.... Where do I start to find myself again? How do I start to do this? Does anyone have the answers to these questions?